As a mother of two children, ages 2 and 3 and a half, I really appreciate this message, especially since going to the grocery store with them can feel like an Olympic sport. I have been feeling so trapped by it all (naps, meals, bedtimes) and it’s nice to imagine letting some of that give way in the name of my social life, which does, I believe, deserve to exist despite all the motherhood as martyrdom messages to the contrary.
Not a mom but seeing what my friends go through with motherhood... I wish they were all a little more selfish! Not to a child-neglecting or endangering degree of course, but I wish this perfect-mommy ideal didn’t exist and eat up all our brains (it does, though, because patriarchy). When I was growing up this was just the way; my mom had things to do, and she did them, mostly with us. I remember sitting in her lap at her English-language night classes. I definitely think I’m the better for it. I got a distinct sense of my mom as a person and as a resource but in no way did I think her life revolved around me (even though it did). I think it’s healthy when kids grow up seeing their moms as multi-dimensional people. Easier said than done, I know.
Jun 6, 2023·edited Jun 6, 2023Liked by Stephanie Danler
This got me teary-eyed in just the right way. what a fucking triumph, steph. you managed to hold all the emotions at the same time and share them equally with love in such a short piece. thxthxthx
As a mother of two children, ages 2 and 3 and a half, I really appreciate this message, especially since going to the grocery store with them can feel like an Olympic sport. I have been feeling so trapped by it all (naps, meals, bedtimes) and it’s nice to imagine letting some of that give way in the name of my social life, which does, I believe, deserve to exist despite all the motherhood as martyrdom messages to the contrary.
Im not a mother but this is exactly what I needed to read today
Not a mom but seeing what my friends go through with motherhood... I wish they were all a little more selfish! Not to a child-neglecting or endangering degree of course, but I wish this perfect-mommy ideal didn’t exist and eat up all our brains (it does, though, because patriarchy). When I was growing up this was just the way; my mom had things to do, and she did them, mostly with us. I remember sitting in her lap at her English-language night classes. I definitely think I’m the better for it. I got a distinct sense of my mom as a person and as a resource but in no way did I think her life revolved around me (even though it did). I think it’s healthy when kids grow up seeing their moms as multi-dimensional people. Easier said than done, I know.
You can do hard shit!
This got me teary-eyed in just the right way. what a fucking triumph, steph. you managed to hold all the emotions at the same time and share them equally with love in such a short piece. thxthxthx
A woman after my own heart. Can we all just admit we are afraid to be alone with our kids? x